Heavenly Father,
today I come before You with a tired heart.
I do not come with perfect words.
I do not come pretending that everything is okay.
I come as I am: broken, confused, ashamed, weak, afraid, and many times not knowing how to get out of this.
Lord, You know what I have lived through.
You know how many times I have tried to change.
You know how many promises I have made, how many tears I have cried, how many times I said, “this is the last time,” and still I fell again.
There are moments when I feel like I cannot take it anymore.
Moments when guilt crushes me.
Moments when I look inside myself and feel that something in me is slowly dying.
Sometimes I smile on the outside, but inside I am fighting a war no one can see.
Father, You know this addiction does not only touch my body.
It touches my mind, my soul, my family, my dreams, my peace, and even my desire to live.
There are days when I feel trapped, as if there is no way out, as if my life is already lost, as if it is too late for me.
But today I want to believe that it is not too late.
I want to believe that You can still lift me up.
I want to believe that Your love can enter the darkest place of my life and turn on a light.
Lord, do not let go of me.
Even though I have let go many times, do not let go of me.
Even though I have failed, even though I have lied, even though I have hidden my pain, even though I have hurt others and also destroyed myself, do not let go of me.
I ask You to help me breathe when I feel like I cannot hold on anymore.
Hold me when the craving feels stronger than my will.
Give me strength to ask for help without feeling ashamed.
Place people near me who will not judge me, but will help me stand again.
Father, heal what is behind this addiction.
Heal the wounds I have tried to silence.
Heal the emptiness I have tried to fill with the very things that destroy me.
Heal the memories, the anxiety, the sadness, the loneliness, and everything that pushes me back to the same place.
Give me strength to live one more day.
Just one more day.
And then another.
And then another.
Do not let me believe the lie that my life has no value.
My life does have value.
Even broken, it has value.
Even tired, it has value.
Even after falling many times, it still has value to You.
Lord Jesus, enter my darkness.
Embrace my pain.
Break my chains.
Cleanse my mind.
Restore my heart.
Give me back the hope I lost.
Today I am not asking You for a perfect life.
I am asking You for a new life.
A life where I can rise again, heal, ask for forgiveness, start over, and walk with You.
And when temptation comes, remind me that I am not alone.
When despair comes, remind me that this night will also pass.
When my mind tells me there is no way out, speak louder with Your love and tell me there is still hope.
Father, if someone is praying this with tears in their eyes, embrace them right now.
If someone no longer wants to live, hold their soul.
If someone feels that no one understands them, let them feel that You are near.
If someone is about to give up, give them a reason to keep going.
Today I place my life in Your hands.
My battle, my pain, my shame, my body, my mind, and my future.
I do not want to continue being a slave.
I want to be free.
And even though today I feel weak, I believe that with You I can still begin again.
I ask all of this in the name of Christ Jesus. Amen.
SomosCristianos connecting hearts with Christ.
