There is a very particular kind of loneliness that only someone who has slept next to another person and still felt completely alone can understand.
It is not the loneliness of having no one. It is worse. It is the loneliness of being with the person you promised to love forever and feeling like there is a glass wall between you. You see each other. You hear each other. But you no longer reach each other.
Maybe you have gone weeks without really talking. Maybe every conversation ends in an argument or in silence. Maybe you no longer even argue, because even arguing takes strength you no longer have. Maybe you are reading this in secret because you do not even know how to tell someone what is happening inside your home.
And deep inside there is a painful question: Can this be fixed?
I want to talk to you about that today. Without judging you. Without telling you that everything is easy. Without giving you a list of steps that sound good on paper but do not work in real life.
The first thing I want to tell you is this: the fact that you still care is an important sign.
People who no longer care do not look for answers. They do not read reflections at eleven at night with a heavy heart. They do not wonder if things can be fixed. They simply leave.
You are here. That means there is still something inside you that does not want to give up. And that is more valuable than you think.
Marriages do not break overnight.
They break little by little. With words that were spoken and could not be taken back. With words that were never spoken and stayed buried until they began to rot. With nights when one person needed the other, and the other did not know how to be there. With routines that slowly took the place love used to have. With small wounds that never healed and, over time, became walls.
And just as they broke little by little, they can also heal little by little. Not all at once. Not with one single conversation. Not with a trip or a romantic dinner. But with small decisions made every day to choose each other even when it hurts. To try again even when you are tired. To ask for forgiveness even when you feel the other person is also at fault. To listen even when what you hear hurts you.
That is not weakness. It is one of the bravest acts that exists.
The Bible does not promise perfect marriages. It promises a God who can restore what seems beyond repair.
There are couples who reached a much darker place than yours and today have a marriage so different that even they can hardly recognize it. Not because their problems disappeared, but because they decided to face them together instead of ignoring them or fighting from opposite sides.
That does not happen by itself. It requires help. And asking for help is not admitting that you failed. It is admitting that your marriage is worth more than your pride.
If there is violence, if there is a situation that puts your safety or your children’s safety at risk, seek professional help immediately. God does not ask you to stay in a place where you are being harmed. That is not what the Bible teaches, and that is not what love means.
But if what exists is distance, exhaustion, unhealed wounds, and two people who no longer know how to find each other, then there is still a path forward.
“Love is patient, love is kind. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
The love the Bible describes is not a feeling that comes and goes. It is a decision made every day. And on the days when it is not felt, it is still chosen.
If today your marriage is broken and you do not know what to do, start with this:
Do not try to fix everything at once. Just do one thing today. One single thing. Say something kind. Listen without defending yourself. Pray for him or for her even if you are angry. One small step in the right direction is worth more than a thousand plans that are never carried out.
And pray this with me today:
“Lord, my marriage is in a place I do not even know how to describe. I am tired, and I do not know what to do. But I still do not want to give up. Step into the middle of us. Heal what is broken. Soften what has become hardened. And give us the strength to choose each other one more day. Amen.”
Somos Cristianos, connecting hearts with Christ.
